Long before Michael Bay made 7000 korean kids go into seizures with his douchey interpretation of the Transformers … there was the original gangsta bots that forced their steel will on our civilization. And none was more bad assier than the one, the only … Megatron. With the magic of CGI and 3D Graphics-somehow they reduced this one time SOB into something resembling a circuit pine tree. But we can assure you that the real Megatron is actually alive and ready to unleash his decepticony claws on anyone who does not bow before awesomeness. True, Megatron was a dick and he was also really hell bent on blowing up the galaxy. But a lot has changed. Megatron and Bumble Bee play raquetball on weekends now. And he’s really sort of chilled out since he started dating Star Screams’ sister … who is quite the moaner, we hear. But he has never lost that edge. And he said the break has been nice and he’s now ready to turn his colossal cannon against those who do not value awesomeness. We trust him, for now. And hey … if he flips out and takes down the Fabio jail cell, who really cares? Megatron, in return for transforming suck into awesome-you’re in line for a brand new Ritual Shaving Kit. Just one thing … it’s hidden in Shock Wave’s ass. Good luck, Meggy.
METAL AND BRAWN 