Member 3: Count Von Count

Three! Three protectors of awesomehood! Count Von Count, A.K.A. Vlad Micic, is the pimp of sesame street leaving muppet hickies all over the furry biatches. He got Oscar addicted to muppet meth. How do you think that nappy green junkie ended up in a garbage can? Fact: Count Von Count is the only muppet to pull human ass. Kermit had his chance, but that high pitched p-bag couldn’t close the deal. Not Count. He rolled up with his puppet soul patch blowing in the wind and was like, Two! Two ho’s on deez nuts! That’s the kind of awesome I want on my team. Your Ritual shaving kit is in the mail and due to arrive at 69 Sesame Street. Actually, I’ll have that yellow slut Big Bird bring that shit over.