Member 2: Dirk Nowitzki

Dallas Schnitzel anyone? This man has a heart of beer. 7 feet of pure three-point glitz. He may have not won a championship yet, but he’s won the game of life. First one to awesome. That blonde patch on his chin isn’t facial hair … it’s a nappy welcome mat to be taken to school. A twisted ankle might as well be a goosebump, because this gingerbread mansion is never coming down. Your Ritual shaving kit is being sent via submarine to your glitzy German abode. Shave your albino mug and let’s do this!

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